The thing about coloured families...

...well, to be fair, there are MANY things about coloured familes.

Like coloured mothers...but that's for another post.

So it's 4am, which for me - when in the throes of insomnia - is,and I am sorry to say, trashy TV time.

On tonight's list: "How to find a husband" and "Whose wedding is it anyway"

I am in love with weddings and relationships and people being happy and rainbows and butterflies and all things 5 year old girls dream about. Given this, these shows are right up my alley.

They also, however, served to remind me why I will never have that fantasy yacht wedding I always wanted. Well, it's possible - I live in a city by the sea and my parents wold be happy to give me my dream...however...a few things about coloured families sealed my fantasy wedding's fate.

Firstly, the sheer size of our families. And even if you're actual family isn't large, every 4th cousin twice removed will HAVE to be invited. Either because they would kick up a fuss and 10 years later so-and-so will not be speaking to the mother of the bride, or the bride, or the bride's children as a result of previous snub. Elephants and their memory ain't got nothing on a coloured woman scorned.

Secondly, yacht weddings don't allow for buffets. Set portions are not the way we do things. We need to serve enough food to feed half of Cape Town. Trust me, if you were to run out of food, it will be brought up at every subsequent family event...your "stingy catering". Thus, so much food is served that every guest takes some home..."some" should feed their families for the next week...or until the food needs to be thrown out. I use my sister's wedding as a classic example. Over a year later we still have frozen veggies in the deep freezer that had never even been prepared for the wedding.

Lastly, let's not beat around the bush....we were all thinking it...MOST importantly...coloured women and that most prized, cherished possession...their hair.
There is just no way, on God's green and luscious earth, that a family of coloured women are going to feel comfortable with the proximity of the water to their hair. They will definitely not be taking photos on the deck where a wave could have the audacity to break against the yacht and possibly send some droplets in the direction of their heads.

So, no, that is not going down.

*Sigh*

Rugby, rain, cuddling, boots, and hot chocolate

...A few of the many reasons I love winter!

Now imagine my excitement when they all collide at my beloved Newlands!

YES PLEASE!