'n Monoloog in Stereo

The thing about coloured families...

2010-05-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

...well, to be fair, there are MANY things about coloured familes.

Like coloured mothers...but that's for another post.

So it's 4am, which for me - when in the throes of insomnia - is,and I am sorry to say, trashy TV time.

On tonight's list: "How to find a husband" and "Whose wedding is it anyway"

I am in love with weddings and relationships and people being happy and rainbows and butterflies and all things 5 year old girls dream about. Given this, these shows are right up my alley.

They also, however, served to remind me why I will never have that fantasy yacht wedding I always wanted. Well, it's possible - I live in a city by the sea and my parents wold be happy to give me my dream...however...a few things about coloured families sealed my fantasy wedding's fate.

Firstly, the sheer size of our families. And even if you're actual family isn't large, every 4th cousin twice removed will HAVE to be invited. Either because they would kick up a fuss and 10 years later so-and-so will not be speaking to the mother of the bride, or the bride, or the bride's children as a result of previous snub. Elephants and their memory ain't got nothing on a coloured woman scorned.

Secondly, yacht weddings don't allow for buffets. Set portions are not the way we do things. We need to serve enough food to feed half of Cape Town. Trust me, if you were to run out of food, it will be brought up at every subsequent family event...your "stingy catering". Thus, so much food is served that every guest takes some home..."some" should feed their families for the next week...or until the food needs to be thrown out. I use my sister's wedding as a classic example. Over a year later we still have frozen veggies in the deep freezer that had never even been prepared for the wedding.

Lastly, let's not beat around the bush....we were all thinking it...MOST importantly...coloured women and that most prized, cherished possession...their hair.
There is just no way, on God's green and luscious earth, that a family of coloured women are going to feel comfortable with the proximity of the water to their hair. They will definitely not be taking photos on the deck where a wave could have the audacity to break against the yacht and possibly send some droplets in the direction of their heads.

So, no, that is not going down.

*Sigh*

Rugby, rain, cuddling, boots, and hot chocolate

2010-05-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

...A few of the many reasons I love winter!

Now imagine my excitement when they all collide at my beloved Newlands!

YES PLEASE!

GFTRC # 4: Labia Movie and Meal deals

2010-03-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

So, the Labia theatre do AWESOME movie/meal deals for two.

Basically you're getting two movie tickets and two meals (they have different deals with different restaurants depending on the day of the week) for between R70 and R75 for both!

Considering that at most cinemas a single movie ticket costs around R45 I'd say this is RATHER great!

Went a few weeks back with my boyfriend and tomorrow I'll be going with my lovely Tam-Tam :)

Visit their website for more info: http://www.labia.co.za

Hi my name's Lauren, and I'm a bulemic (blogger)

2009-09-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

I have realised, about myself, that I either blog in excess and throw up words on the (virtual) page in a hurry, or I can go days...weeks...months...without needing a fix.

I blame it on my inability to commit (except to Earl Grey and my boyfriend).

I will, however, try very hard to be better...but for the moment, expect a flood of posts of Noah's Ark-like proportions for the next few days while I get it out of my system again. :)

GFTRC #3:Reader's Warehouse

2009-07-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was in heaven today. n untouchable place where all is well with the world.

It was so beautiful I had to take a moment to appreciate it.

And then wipe away a tear of gratitude.

Reader's Warehouse has just opened in Rondebosch and all their books....a.l.l t.h.e.i.r b.o.o.k.s are R25. Alles. Die hele spul.

What better way to combat this stormy Cape winter than with a great book, a snuggly blanket and, of course, a cup of Earl Grey. It's what God intended.

Awesome books, ridiculous price frankly, so go go go!

GFTRC #2: Indoor cave golf

2009-06-19T04:36:00.000-07:00

I have another fun find for the the Recession Conscious :)

At the Waterfront nogal.

It's called Cave Golf, i.e. indoor putt putt. Not only is it genius because you can still go regardless of weather, it's also only R10 per person per round.

It's deceptively tricky and the 18 holes took 3 of us a good hour co complete.

There are worse ways to spend an afternoon.

Go check it out - it's fun :)

Cave Golf:
Situated at the V&A Waterfront. Right next to Scratch Patch which is on the left hand side as you enter the Waterfront.
Open daily from o9h00 til 17h00
(+27 21) 419-9429

Change

2009-06-19T03:49:00.000-07:00

I'm resistant to change at the best of times.

I am not adventurous.

And I DO NOT like surprises. Good or bad.

Thus, while I am QUITE aware that this specific change is for the best and a much needed improvement, I still cannot quite accept it.

Last night I attended my old high school's 125th year anniversary. While it was fun seeing old teachers and friends and reminiscing, I was not too pleased about the unveiling of the new uniform. They didn't even give us time to process and accept these changes - no no no - straight away we were hit with this massive surprise with the orchestra girls prancing around in their very un-dishcloth like ensembles :(.

I'm not a sadist, but it's only FAIR that my daughters and the rest of the girls who'll attend Wynberg be treated to the same levels of discomfort and shame the rest of us endured.

My friend Tara made a very valid point - regardless of the uniform, we will MAKE our daughters walk around in the stiffly starched dresses of our time. Not this stylish, flattering vibe they seem to be going for these days. Oh NO. (Waves finger in the air in a "you better save that drama for your mama" sort of fashion)

Long live the dishcloth!

A few things that annoy me

2009-06-19T03:40:00.000-07:00

#1: South African cricket

Not on the whole.

It is, quite specifically, our absolute inability to win semi-finals and perform when it matter that annoys me. Greatly.

It completely baffles my mind that we can sweep all competition out the way when nothing's at stake. Wipe the floor with them. Take them down to China Town.

But when it counts? When fold faster than a pack of Osmans' cards.

Makes me bleak :(

Virgin mobile: The Consumer Rape continues

2009-05-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

I will start off by saying that I used to LOVE Virgin mobile - I told everyone that they NEEDED to join.

Virgin mobile, and it's service, has become a bit of a joke though. And not the funny funny har har fun kind.

It all started towards the end of last year when for periods of two or three days at a time my sim card would just "die". Virgin in Canal Walk told me there was nothing they could do about it - that they had received a faulty batch of sims and that I simply needed to wait for the sim card to die completely (to alert me to a "sim card registration failure") and then I could come pick one up. For free! Wait - you're telling me I don't have to pay for something that isn't my fault?! Oh! The kindness!

It was not just an easy walk in, walk out pick up however. I had to wait a few days for them to receive new sim cards and in this time I was expected to be without a phone or use another network.

I was miffed but was happy enough again when I received my new sim card. That was 2 months ago. My New! Improved! sim card has subsequently died too. I've currently been waiting for two weeks to receive a new one.

This is simply unacceptable. While I enjoyed Virgin because it was relatively cheaper compared to the other networks (and I do love a bargain) I am very much over this farce of a network. Sure, they offer cheaper contracts but for faults to occur so frequently (there were 4 other people in the store with the same issue when I went the second time - and on the phone today they admitted that it was a common problem) and for them to do nothing to compensate us....well that's not on.

Safe to say I will not be renewing my contract when it expires at the end of this month.

Rant over.

Happiness

2009-05-17T16:22:00.001-07:00

Today Kyle gave me beautiful pink roses.

It's not my birthday.

It's not our anniversary.

It's "just because"...

I know, I know....scientists around the world are working around the clock to clone him.

A guide for the recession conscious

2009-05-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

So...there's been much talk of this "recession" we're in. Quite frankly, I can't say I've experienced it. Not because I'm a student and sponge off my parents (pipe down in the cheap seats), but because, as a student we're in a recession everyday (can I get an amen?).

With this in mind...and given my previously mentioned benevolence, I've decided to provide helpful hints about places to go in Cape Town that are both fun and cheap. Naturally I will test these places out as they become known to me and report back.

My first outing...and possible the greatest discovery of all time...occurred on Friday night.

Without further ado...

GFTRC #1: The Adderley Street Hotel.

Let's get one thing clear: If you go during any other time but happy hour you will not eat for the rest of the month. BUT, go between 5pm and 7pm on a weekday and you will not only have an awesome time, but your kidney will not need to be exchanged to cover your bill either.

Every weekday night they have a R10 cocktail special - all cocktails are R10. For the "two hour happy hour".

I'm going to give you a moment to let that process.

Wipe that tear away. I know, I know...

Friday nights are a special treat. There are live performances...awesome African jazz vibes.

Perfect way to end a long week or start the weekend.

Highly, highly recommended!

Oh no, no, NO...they do not water down! D....and the rest of us...clearly enjoyed ourselves some Toasted Almonds...yum. Please note that our bill SHOULD have been R630...and yet was R180.

Please proceed to your nearest exit in an orderly fashion....and wait till 5pm :)

Reason to watch the Lions Tour to SA #1

2009-05-14T01:27:00.000-07:00

So, it is common knowledge that rugby is my first love (sorry honey). I love it. Intensely. It's the main reason I love winter - winter is the season of rugby. Bliss. There are probably few things that make me as happy as watching the Blue Bulls slug it out against Western Province in the pouring rain at Newlands. Such, such intense amounts of happiness.

That said, all rugby pleases me - whether it's watching the Boks beat Wales at the Millenium stadium, or little under 7s running their little hearts out barefoot, or playing touch on holiday with my boyfriend's family. I really mean ALL rugby.

Which brings me to my point - I am super excited to watch the Lions play the Boks (I'll grumble about Newlands not getting a test at a later stage). This is historic! And I've never been to game involving the Lions (I'm assuming here of course that we are all AWARE that I mean the British and Irish Lions tour....not the Lions from that ugly province up North...we all understood that right?)

While I love rugby, I also appreciate the fact that God in all his wisdom decided that the most beautiful sport should surely be played by the most beautiful men. Such wisdom! Such complete sense!

I am thus sharing this with you...giving you even more of a reason to watch the tour. I'm benevolent like that.

Let the countdown to the tour begin....

Reason to watch the Lions Tour to SA #1:

Mike Phillips

Um.....helllo!

Do you even need more reasons?

But there's lots more where that came from so I shall be providing similar reasons as the countdown continues :)

Photos from www.welshrugbypics.co.uk and www.lionsrugby.com

Movie Review #1

2009-05-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Zack and Miri make a porno

So I really wish my first movie review could have been of something super intellectual and deep...but alas after tests and stress and illness, I needed to veg.
So I convinced my friend Ins-to-the-fino that her thesis could wait, and off we went to Cavs. In the middle of the week. In the middle of the afternoon. (It almost feels so sinfully dirty to say that. It feels like I need to take a shower...though that urge may merely have been brought about by the recent inauguration of our new president.)

It's a pointless, funny, crude movie - perfect for vegging. I loved that it was filmed in Pittsburgh! Pittsburgh! (I spent 4 months there in 2005/2006 - everyone seems to think it's a bit of a hell hole so when it's famous for something...anything...it makes me happy)

I wouldn't run over my granny to see it, but if it happened to come on again on TV, I wouldn't flick past it straight away.

Wel slaan my met 'n nat vis.....

2009-05-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

So the Stormers actually won? Who woulda thunk it?
(Tips of a monetary nature for that reverse psychocology move I pulled on them can be deposited into....)

YAY MY BOYTIES!

PS. Boo for the Intervarsity draw :(

Supporting the Stormers

2009-05-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of things to note about being a Stormers' supporter.

Firstly, you must have a slight mental condition.
To be constantly disappointed and yet to continuously hope - week in and week out- that they'll live up to their potential...that can't be normal. The fact that they pull the odd brilliant game out the bag and"justify" our belief does not help our poor little hearts at all.

Secondly, supporting the Stormers is like having an ugly cousin - it doesn't change the fact that you love them dearly, but it certainly doesn't mean you aren't embarrassed by them either.

YAY!

2009-05-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

So I've finally gotten round to starting my blog - yay (special shout outs to Tam Tam and D for inspiring me to haha).

Anyway, I've wanted to start for ages - well I wanted to randomly, and yet completely specifically, start on the 22nd April - but, alas, I found it painfully difficult to commit to a title. After choosing "Monoloog in Stereo" I left the window open for 2 hours before clicking confirm. I have major commitment issues clearly.

In elk geval, "Monoloog in Stereo" is one of my favourite songs, off one of my favourite albums, by my favourite band - Fokofpolisikar. Plus, I just think it's cool. And apt.

So, the song that inpired me:

(I would translate the lyrics for all my international readers, but as I currently have no readers of any description, that seems a bit pointless.)

Monoloog In Stereo

‘N baie algemene mens met baie algemene woorde in ‘n algemene huis kweek algemene drome ‘n dosis pynverdowers op die ou einde van die dag is dit seker maar al wat jou gelukkig maak en oor en oor ‘n monoloog in stereo op ‘n mooi dag soos vandag ek wonder soms soms wonder ek die son skyn gelukkig gelukkig skyn die son ‘n baie standaard geesteskluis waarin ek myself toesluit die herlewing was toe net korttermyn ek het by die agterdeur uitgegly as jy voel jy moet dan moet jy as daar soveel van ons is hoekom sal enige iemand jou mis